By Abby Wilson
Pitfall!, Activision Games, Intellivision, 1982
I’ve always wished that the Intellivision was more well-known. Most of the games on it were ported to other systems at the time (most famously Burger Time), so its owners weren’t getting any sort of exclusive feeling of superiority (unlike many Xbox 360 owners I know today – get over yourselves, Halo 3 is boring). Pitfall! is one of those games – I’m fairly sure it’s appeared on almost every game system in existence, including the Intellivision, which is actually the only version that I’ve ever played.
The story is reminiscent of Indiana Jones, that archetypical adventurer. You are Harry Pitfall (at least he wasn’t named after the dog!), and you are adventuring through the jungles of South America. Treasures abound, but watch out! Large rivers filled with hungry crocodiles block your path, rolling logs threaten to mow you down, and cobras stand ready to take your life. Also, there is an underground passage with some brick walls and a scorpion. It’s hard to know what purpose all of these serve, but Harry knows what he wants: all of the treasure he can find.
The game is a basic side-scrolling endeavor, with the fun twist that you can go either left or right at the start of the game, making it feel as if the jungle is vast and easy to get lost in. It is. Your goal is to collect as much treasure as you can in twenty minutes, while avoiding pitfalls, scorpions, and other natural hazards. Each piece of treasure gives you points, while every time you get hit by a barrel or fall down into the underground causes you to lose points. On top of all of these complex things to remember, you only have two lives. Want Harry to learn how to swim? Lose a life. Want to see that giant scorpion (seriously– it’s half as tall as you!) up close? Lose a life. The jungle is dangerous, my friends!
I’ve also never beat this game. Why? I have very, very little patience for it. The Intellivision controller is not famous for being responsive; the river of swear words that fly out when I miss a jump by one pixel is epic. Also, there is no music to accompany you. It adds to the immersion, I guess, but when I’m being eaten by crocodiles I’d really like to be able to hum a catchy 80′s tune. I also really want to know why there are brick walls underneath the jungle!
There has to be some sort of odorless gas that gets released every time I play this; when I turn the game off in frustration, I swear that I’m just going to play He-Man next time. And yet, every time I go to the basement to turn the Intellivision on, my view turns to Pitfall. “Maybe this time I’ll be able to beat it,” I say, as if my memory has been completely wiped. “Maybe I’ll find the end of the jungle.” I never do, and I don’t think I ever will.
Article © January 2008 by Abby Wilson.
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