Cerise Magazine

When we asked members of IRIS over on the boards to tell us what the site has meant to them, I started to think back on my time spent here in the past year and what effect it has had on me. I first wandered over to IRIS from a link posted on Kotaku, of all places, sometime in March or April of 2007. I’d been reading Kotaku daily for about half a year or so at that point, and was regularly dismayed by the extreme amounts of sexism (not to mention racism, homophobia, ableism, etc.) spewed forth by both the commenters and editorial staff at the site. I wanted to keep up to date on games and talk to other people about them, but trying to wade through the misogyny at Kotaku was an exercise in futility and the prospect of trying to engage with some of the offensive things was disheartening. Better to keep my mouth shut and head down and not make waves where someone like me, a mixed queer feminist, wasn’t wanted. Finding IRIS in the midst of all this, a safe haven in the middle of the dominant and overwhelmingly sexist mainstream gaming culture was like a breath of fresh air. Cliché, I know, but how else can I describe it? It was such a relief to find other gamers, gamers who loved the hobby but were sick of the culture surrounding their hobby, gamers who were critical of the games that they loved even while playing them. Finally, other gamers that I could relate to. Finally, other gamers who understood. IRIS instantly felt like home to me.

Since my initial introduction to IRIS over a year ago, I’ve experienced significant growth in my understanding of the way oppression operates not only in games and gaming culture, but in other areas of life as well. Meeting the other progressives at IRIS and poking around through the directory opened my eyes up to a plethora of feminist blogs, sites and communities online that I hadn’t even known existed. If I had thought to look for these sorts of things before I might have found them prior my introduction to IRIS, but you know it just hadn’t occurred to me to do so until IRIS first put the combination of feminism, games and the internet together. Reading all of the brilliant things that were being said in critique of pop culture on the internet has helped me hone my own ability to articulate my feminism and the way I experience the world. I continue to learn every day from the work of online progressives, to whom I will always be indebted. I can only hope that the work that I do through IRIS/Cerise may have a similar impact on other women and/or feminist gamers out there, looking for community in a hostile culture. This desire to make a difference for others, the way IRIS and the rest of the feminist blogosphere have done for me, is what motivates my continued contributions to this magazine and this site.

Without veering too far into TMI, I would be remiss if I neglected to mention the other significant effect that IRIS has had on my life: I met my partner (going on six months!) through the IRIS Network last year. If for no other reason than that fact alone, IRIS will always be a special place for me. <3

When I was a kid, I made up stories for my siblings and the neighbourhood kids we could press-gang into participating by the hour. Let’s Pretend was by far and away my favourite game, second only to reading as my favourite activity. We hunted down dinosaurs, enthusiastically swung sticks at each other in pirate battles, saved ourselves from floods of molten lava by jumping on the bed and, in possibly my finest hour, prevented alien plague infection by eating most of my friend’s stash of M&Ms.

I do exactly the same thing now, only I call Let’s Pretend “writing”, and I supply my own M&Ms.
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This month marks Cerise’s first birthday, and the magazine’s parent site, Iris, is just a teensy bit older. We asked our community members to talk a little bit about what the site and the magazine have meant for them over the past year. Here’s some of what they had to say:
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By Stephanie Pegg

The guy who runs the roleplaying game I’m in right now has two separate groups. Some of us meet on Wednesday evenings and some of us meet on Sunday afternoons, and the living room is visible to the house across the road. What the neighbors see is a bunch of people of varying ages and dress sense meeting twice a week, sitting around in the living room talking. For two to three hours. Just talking.
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Before joining my fabulous, wonderful, awesome Potter-verse RPG, I had never gamed before. Sure, I’d played pretend (and really, an RPG feels like pretend with math) but once I’d grown up I’d stayed the hell away from gaming. Math… is not my thing. So very far from it. Plus, most video-games give me mild anxiety issues.¹
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I am a 31 year old woman. In the last two years, I have been taking real steps towards l33t g33k status, though my geekiness has been within me for most of my life. My first foray into the genre of fantasy really began when I was eight years old and my grandmother handed me a copy of The Fellowship of the Ring to browse through for a good name for my new troll doll (remember the ugly plastic ones with the crazy colored hair that were so popular in the 80’s?). I picked “Frodo” because it called to me. Then I read the book. I don’t think I have ever fully come back from that world. I still have Mr. Frodo – he’s on a hutch in my bedroom and he’s gotten me through some pretty hectic times in my life.
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Separation

My first recalled memories all involve video games: The Intellivision, playing Utopia and Dungeons and Dragons with my mother, or watching my father play TRON: Deadly Discs. I remember the graphics and sounds vividly, even though I was only three years old. I continued to play games as I grew: Atari Track & Field and Pitfall, Lode Runner and The Incredible Machine on the PC. I still play NES games, and have sporadic and horrible obsessions with Heroes of Might and Magic II and Sonic CD.

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By Olivia Luna

Okay. So. I was gonna write this review of Super Princess Peach for the February issue of Cerise. I had every intention of doing so, I swear. But the thing is, I hated the game. Well, no, maybe hate is too strong of a word. I strongly disliked Super Princess Peach and the thought of sitting down and organizing my distaste for the game into a coherent and original critique…well, the truth is I’d actually rather do my coursework. It’s just that bad. So instead of a review, I’m going to ramble instead. (more…)

By Robyn Fleming

One of the things I was most excited about when I got married was that I was going to get a chance to wear a tiara. And not just any tiara, but one created specially for me by my good friend (and awesome artist) Rachel Edidin [Editor’s note: See Rachel’s “Craft Check: Make Your Own Tiara,” in this issue]. When the package from Rachel arrived, I ripped it open in a fever of excitement and, making high-pitched noises of glee, immediately tried on my shiny new crown. And then I photographed it, uploaded the photo, and made a post in my LiveJournal titled “I AM A PRINCESS.”

My wedding accessory was not my first crown. Another favorite head-ornament of mine is a circlet-like creation of fine chainmail, of the type available for sale at renaissance faires everywhere. The circlet consists of a band of mail that goes across my forehead and several thin chains that loop down on the sides, draping over my ears and hair. There’s a sparkly blue pendant on the front that rests between and slightly above my brows. When I wear it, I feel like some kind of elven princess.

I also have a weird headdress made of leather (another ren faire find) that looks like a cross between a helmet and a crown. Warrior princess? You betcha.

I’ve enjoyed my share of elaborate fantasy gowns, too. My wedding dress had floor-length sleeves. My dress-up box when I was a child was stuffed to the brim with satin and lace. But despite my enduring love of princessy accoutrements, I’ve never been attracted to the idea of playing a princess in any of the many RPGs I’ve participated in over the years. I played a noblewoman once, but I’m much more likely to pick scrappy fighter types – characters a little bit more like, well, me.

I’m not in the line of succession for any crown, which is a crucial factor in true princess-hood, but I’m not even a good candidate for the non-royal type of princess. I’m not tall and willowy. I don’t have a porcelain-like complexion; my skin is rough with calluses and is covered with bruises and scratches more often than not. I’m only as graceful as I am because I’ve been doing martial arts since I was six. And I still bump into tables and other furniture with painful regularity. My voice is husky rather than bell-like.

Of course, in a fantasy RPG, none of that matters. So why haven’t I taken advantage of the opportunity to be anyone, and used it to play a character who can fit the princess role in every way?

I guess I’ve just never really wanted to.

I like to read stories and watch movies featuring princess characters now and then – both the classic, delicate and lovely kind and the resourceful, tough ones – but for myself the attraction is all about the accessories. After all, I can be my stocky, coarse, pugnacious self and still wear the occasional sparkly tiara. And if I can have the cool stuff, why would I want anything else?

Article © February 2008 by Robyn Fleming.

“Scars of Time”

To me, those three words symbolize the start of a serious gaming career. Sure I’ve played games all my life, ever since my older brother got a Nintendo Entertainment System with a copy of Super Mario Bros./Duckhunt and the original Castlevania for Christmas when I was five, but I never really considered it to be a hobby of mine. I wasn’t even very good at games so, more often than not, I was content to just watch him play. (more…)